How are YOU doing?
I know my responses via txt regarding this question have been brief and you're probably not getting the detail you've hoped. Hopefully this blog post will help? You can also come over and hang out with us if this post isn't enough. In the How We Love course I’ve been taking at church, I’ve learned to use “soul words” to express how I feel. I don’t like talking about feelings but that’s what people want to hear about so here we go. The soul words that came to my mind on my walk with Teri today were:
Helpless
In the last decade, two times I’ve cried the most was when our dog Mustard passed away, and the night we came home from the hospital after hearing about the news of the tumors. Teri would tell you that I’ve taken the news a lot harder than her, and it’s true. When things hit me, they hit me pretty hard.
Cancer really sucks and many times I have moments where I feel pretty helpless. Many of you know that I’m pretty good at finding ways to solve a problem or persevere through a challenge (completing an Ironman, planning a birthday conference, marrying Teri in the first place, etc…). Cancer at this stage for my beautiful wife makes me feel this way. I want to figure this out and be in control of this situation. I can’t stand knowing that even if we do everything right (treatment, diet, exercise, etc…) it may win. I don’t like losing.
Hopeful
I’ve done quite a bit of reading and research on this topic and Teri’s condition. I also know that there are people who have been in worse situations regarding cancer and are now in remission! What I've learned is that the people who beat the odds have taken advantage of mainstream methods (chemo, surgery, etc..) AND off-label drugs, diet changes, clinical trials and all of it paid off. Most of it came down to lots of prayers, perseverance, and simply not giving up even when the doctors said there was nothing more they can do. That's not going to happen with us. Teri's looking forward to attending E40 (next year, book your plane tickets now) and hopefully by E50 we've all forgotten that Teri had cancer in the first place.
Humbled
We really don’t deserve this kind of love and attention. In the past several years, I've been a pretty terrible friend to many of you since I'm really good at "being busy" and still haven't responded to some that's wished me happy birthday. Thank you for being patient with me. I get so many messages from friends and family who really care and want to help. These are even from people that are also going through difficult times right now but still want to do something. I’m a very practical person (acts of service is my love language), and the fact that people have offered to cook food, do laundry, walk our dog, fly out here from Atlanta, read these posts, etc… really encourages me.
Thank you all for coming along side with us during this very difficult time. We are looking forward to hanging out with you all in the near future and beating this cancer, together.
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