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One-week post-chemo


Hi friends and family, It's been a week since my first chemo infusion. As you all know from Erwin's last post, I was hospitalized due to fluid in my lungs. We don't know if the fluid started before or after chemo. As of now, nothing will change for my chemo regimen. I was discharged Saturday afternoon and have been resting at home since then.


It was such a relief to have the fluid drained from my lungs. Not only did it help me breathe again, but it alleviated some pain I was having in my back and my stomach. So recovery since has been going well. However, on Monday, I started feeling heavy fatigue and a low grade nausea. It's been challenging to try and find food that my stomach will tolerate. My dietician suggested I take the prescribed anti-nausea meds so that I can give my body nutrient from foods which is part of the healing process. So, I will start doing that.


On Monday, I also went to the City of Hope beauty boutique (new location in Irvine!) to get my hair cut short in anticipation of hair loss and to pick up my new wig. My mother in law came to support me. Some thing I learned from my first journey with cancer is to take control of your own hair loss. Often times, cancer patients would throw head shaving parties or cut their hair short in advance of experiencing the hair loss. It can be less traumatizing that way. I did find comfort after my hair cut not having to maintain long hair or wonder if every time I brush it that clumps would fall off. I guess it's another way to feel some sense of control in a journey that is mostly out of my control.


I love Erwin's posts where he lists his three feeling words. I will follow his lead. My words will be: grateful, hopeful, and humbled.

Grateful

I'm so grateful for the love and support from all our friends and family who have stepped into our cancer messiness and helped us to unite. I'm grateful for the dog walks, the meals for Erwin and myself. The grocery runs, the prayers, the quality time, the pick ups and droff offs for appointments and meetings. The conversations to catch up by phone or text. The offers to help us clean and organize our house, to running errands with us, to making food for our dog. All the prayers, words of encouragement. I feel like I am missing a lot. Overall, I am so incredibly grateful for our community that wants to walk alongside us during this difficult time.


Hopeful

My hope comes from God who sustains me. I trust in His goodness and plan for my life. May His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. I am reminded of Daniel and his double-fisted faith (Daniel 3:14-18). When faced with King Nebuchadnezzar throwing him and his friends into a furnace for not following the King's god, Daniel -- with one clenched fist -- said "God can rescue us and we believe He will." And then with his second fist, he said "So great, so awesome, so worthy is our God, that even if He chooses not to save us and our bodies burn in the flame, our God is still the one we will follow. We will trust Him in life, and we will trust Him in death."


Humbled

I have been learning through my BSF studies that times of suffering and trials helps us to loosen our grip on this world and our illusion of control. This season has definitely heightened my awareness of my complete dependence on others but more importantly, my complete dependence on God.


Thank you everyone for your love and support. Round 1 done, 2 more to go!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

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