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Terwin is back at the hospital - Prayers needed

Dear friends and family, Thank you all for following along on this journey and hope you are well. We love each of you and couldn't ask for better people to walk alongside us during this difficult time. I want to first share some heavy news regarding Teri's condition that has resulted in another trip to the hospital.

Here's my quick recap since we last posted here:

😊 3/18: Teri was discharged from hospital, feeling great from draining 900ml her left lung. Life felt "normal" again and started eating food (vs. smoothies/protein shakes).

  • 😊 3/22: Confirmed current treatment plan using Chemo/Doxyrubicin every 21 days was still OK with Dr. Beck (primary Oncologist) and Dr. Subbiah (2nd opinion from City of Hope), despite the ER trip to visit.

  • 😕 3/23 - 3/27: Nausea from Chemo R1 got better, but symptoms related to breathing, stomach pain, constipation needed on going management. This results in difficulty walking and low energy levels. Back to liquid diet.

  • 😷 3/28: Drove to ER because of pain and shortness of breath. Drained another 1200ml from left lung and admitted to hospital for monitoring. Potassium levels also higher than normal, resulting in needing IV.

  • 🙏 3/29: Partial obstruction of small bowel found on CT scan, now on NPO (no eating/drinking) to relieve the bowels, hoping the obstruction will clear/get better. This explains many of her symptoms she's been having related to constipation and cramping after eating.

  • 😍 3/29: While I was getting ready to sleep on the recliner, we got moved to a bigger hospital room with a couch and ocean view!

  • 🙏 3/30: Potassium levels now stable. Catheter to be placed to help relieve fluid from lungs as needed (30 min procedure). IV fluids to start to give her nutrients needed due to NPO and a patch to help with pain management.

Wow, that's a lot happening in a very short amount of time. What's next with her treatment?

While she's stable as of now, the "plan" is that she'll proceed with Chemo R2 next Wednesday with some possible additions to the Doxyrubicin (details TBD) to treat specific areas discovered in her recent pathology reports. There are no plans of doing any surgery to remove anything (blockage, tumor, etc..) because of the high risk. Although she would love to go home, her doctor recommended she stay here until then, allowing her to be better monitored.

How is Teri feeling right now?

At the moment, she's resting well and in good spirits. Her pain has been well managed for the past 18 hours. When I ask about her feelings, she says its been hard to even think about her feelings because she's been so tired. The soul words that come to mind for her are:

  • Confused (all of this happening so quickly)

  • Overwhelmed (lots of doctors, information to process, etc..)

  • Exhausted (all the pain meds result in her wanting to rest most of the day)

I'll learn more over the next few days and will get back to you.

How are you feeling right now?

I know this may come as a surprise to you given the positivity on her last post. There's no doubt I'm struggling and also overwhelmed. This news is as difficult for you to read as it is for me to write here in the hospital, not knowing when we will go home.

Earlier this morning I cried with her, reminding her of how thankful I was to have her and shared my hopes for her to keep fighting. She asked, "why are you crying?" and I didn't really have an answer. I was trying to "stay strong" so I don't scare her. I guess I felt similar feelings of hopelessness on that night we came home after first finding out about the recurrent cancer. I think I'll cry when I think of some of the regrets I've had in our marriage due to my pride or selfishness. I'm now feeling a bit better, reminding myself of what Teri shared last night about "two-fisted faith."

What do YOU need from the people reading this?

I feel loved when I am Trusted:

  • Trust that Terwin is doing our best to make the right medical decisions during this time that aligns with our Christian faith and Teri's goals. We are at peace with what's happening right now and understand how important it is to take things done day at a time.

  • Trust that Terwin is getting lot of great medical help our friends and family that are doctors, nurses, and pharmacists (on top of her primary care team at Hoag).

  • Trust me when I want to work for a bit at my day job, or do things for myself from time to time.

  • Trust me when I ask for help on unique tasks that are on my mind, even if they're not "high priority." It does hurt when I'm told what to do. Jeff replacing my garage lights while at my house made me happy coming home! Yes there's still work to do in the garage, don't worry...

I feel loved when you're Patient with me:

  • I get 10-15 messages/calls a day about how we are doing, and feel very loved, knowing you all care so much. I know its important to hear from us since I would want to know what's going on if one of you were in the same situation. Thank you for being patient as some of my responses have taken several days.

  • FYI Teri hasn't used her phone since she got to the hospital in case you reached out to her. If you need anything from her directly, let me know.

As I wrap up this post, I feel a bit of relief getting to share what's been on my mind. This helps me to stay positive, hopeful, and thankful. If you need anything, please let us know, we are here for you too! Blessings, Erwin

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